I seem to write in spurts of inspiration followed by periods of mind boggling emptiness. The thing is that I am torn with what I want to do. I went back to my safe route. I needed the (somewhat) structure of a 40 hour job. It’s amazing how quickly time flies when you have too much to do and not nearly enough time to do it.
Here is what I try to accomplish each day:
Take care of horses (feed, turn out/ turn in, muck stalls, tell them they are gorgeous)
Chores (caring for horses or cleaning house etc.)
Sort out adult (bills, car stuff, real life stuff) priorities
Well, I can tell you I maybe get 2/3 of this done on a daily basis. My writing has come to a stand still. Oh, I was so excited to write but life happened. Life will continue to happen. I just need to roll with the punches and not give up. My previous post (Taking Action) was all about deciding to do something- to stop wishing for stuff and to grow and make changes. The post was a bit shorter than what I wanted.
I’d like to show you how I am growing. Currently, I am working on building my writing portfolio. I’ve started writing for the American Trakehner Magazine. I just reread an article I wrote and I was shocked by how bad it was. Some simple edits will fix it. The growth part is that I recognize the errors. I have grown into a better writer simply from writing so much and from reading until I fall asleep.
Currently, I work in retail which in an of itself isn’t all that thrilling. What is thrilling/ enriching is the vast array of personalities that walk through those sliding doors. Each person is unique and has their own dreams, desires and wishes. There are the people who come in all the time (and I still can’t remember their names). Retail is a great place to get character ideas and to develop your craft. How do I best convey my directions. “You go down that way and it’s on the end.” Some people get that description other people need to know “It’s going to be in the back of the store. You see that big sign for hardware. There’s safes right there. Turn left right after the safes and you’ll see all of the paint; you can’t miss it.” Then there are those who just don’t understand or need advice “Here, let me show you.”
At the point I interact with the customer and sometimes they need some suggestions, sometimes I excuse myself and other times I get dismissed “Thanks, I got it from here.” Some of the time the customers want to chit-chat to have interaction with other people. I’m not a fan of small talk (well, I’ve gotten to enjoy its many flavors); it’s more I don’t know how to keep on topic long enough for small talk to be small talk. My brain thinks in large ideas and it jumps from those ideas in milliseconds which leaves me with this irrational feeling of I have to keep moving. I hate being distracted when I talk to people. I don’t like interrupting others but I’ve learned to be better about it. I’ve learned to gauge people and whether or not they need my help.
I thinking working with people helps me as a writer because it gives me the opportunity to study people without seeming weird. That is the key- people watching. I enjoy watching how people interact and live life. More often than not people just want to connect- to feel a little less alone.
Isn’t that why we read books and daydream about worlds beyond? We strive for the connection; that desire to be loved (I may be writing this just after watching the latest episode of Once Upon A Time.)
Life is about spinning plates. It’s about juggling more than one thing at a time but it is also learning that just because you drop a plate now and then doesn’t mean that you are a bad person. It’s an opportunity to learn and to grow.