There are movers and shakers, then there is me.
I kind of like that as a first line to a novel. There are a lot of things I like but I don’t think anyone else likes.
Where have I been? That’s a good question. I’ve been in the proverbial mud hole cleaning up gunk and try to wade out of the neverending bog.
I have to say thank you to all who have sent positive thoughts my way. Your worry and prayer is greatly appreciated.
At this time I’m still a dreamer. I’m still pining for bright stars and for a time when money issues are a thing of the past.
There is more I suppose a true blogger would share. Get down to the nitty gritty. Show you the train wreck I know my life to be. However, I’m a purist and I believe in only showing the good because when I try to explain the bad, well all I get is a lot of negative feedback.
As usual, my train of thought is rather stilted. I guess I need some coffee.
You can thank a fellow writer named Terry
For this post as whenever I get a comment like you have a good blog I inevitably zip over and see how long it’s been since I’ve written and then promptly write a new blog.
While on that train of thought- maybe this whole writing thing I’ve got backwards. If I try hard at something I mess up because I lock up in worry. This is a truth. I’m a good rider, like really good but if I actually try to ride I look sloppy. In addition to that I get in my own way and close the channels of communication between me and my horses.
If I relax and just ride my muscles know what to do. I just have to think something and my horse does it. Now, this is supposed to be a blog for fiction and writing but I just need to share this.
Financially speaking I’m almost where I want to be. There are a few more debts I working on settling. Bills I need to stay on top of, but I can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. Which is important because I am finally allowing myself to enjoy my horses. After 2.5 years of struggling I am able to breathe and that is huge. I’ve moved my horses to a full care facility because I can afford it; more than that my sanity needed a change. For the past two weeks I’ve ridden more than in the past year. I think I’ve spent more quality time with my horses too.
The reason I bred for Fae was so that I could raise and train her myself. She is so smart and so perfect. I just love her. Julie is amazing as well, I got on her after three months of not riding and she was great. Went right to work and she was so happy that we were working again. I have the two best horses ever.
The barn I’m at is full of Hunter/jumper people. Most of whom have pockets so deep they seem endless. Which is fine but what I don’t like is the fact that my horses don’t have much turnout (the struggle is real) and the fact that people assume I am going to break my horse under saddle. I don’t want my horse broken (I’m talking about Fae, Julie is a pro under saddle) and when I say I’m starting her they look down at me because I’m not sending her away to be broken by a cowboy.
Seriously, people can be so dense. The only person who has trained Fae is me. She lunges better than most horses. She stands for the farrier and vet. She stands on the cross ties. She takes a bit no problem.
I get so tired of people assuming I don’t know anything because I don’t have an extensive show background. I chose to own a horse instead of show it. My focus has always been on the bond between horse and human.
I have no desire to deal with anyone else. Most days I wish I had the money to build a fortress where no one could get in on a mountain long forgotten.