The Marathon in My Mind

I’ve been running a mental race. A marathon to get to the finish and I thought I got there but it was just a rest point.
I pushed on and looked around. My opponents were all me. They all had that same look of grim determination. Then they all veered down different paths and I was alone.
So alone. It never bother me before. I never wondered what it would be like to not be alone. I was running but the silence in the wood is haunting.
Life isn’t lived in a vacuum even thought I tried to live it that way.
I keep on messing up without realizing. In short, I’m a horrible poker player.

Oh, but what does this have to do with anything? I put my resume up and I got a couple of bites. One at a company I’ve heard of. One that sings of good money. I then looked up their employee reviews and I’m leery about going to an interview.
I’m tired of running from one path to the next. Tired of trying to figure where I am supposed to go. I’m tired of looking around hoping he appears only to be disappointed. I don’t want to make all of these decisions alone. I can but I don’t want to.

I heard him call me
In the deepest of sleeps
I ran to him
He was mist in the forest

No matter how I searched
He was gone
A forgotten memory
Oh, how my heart aches.

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