Are we Victims or Victors?

Let’s look at today’s media and the frothing mess it is. Look at all the negativity and all of the horrible stories slathered all over facebook, twitter and tv. We put this sewage on us and then we wonder why we stink. I am white and I am female. I caught a glimpse of a title that someone shared on facebook. It was titled “Sorry white women but we won’t feel sorry for you.” With the onslaught of stories about police brutality and the murders of several black men our society has been whipped up into a crazed demon bent on righting these wrongs.

I will be the first to admit I have not followed these stories not because I’ve deemed these deaths not important but because death happens. Death happens in horrible, horrible ways. Death happens on accident, death happens on purpose. We all die. I don’t want to sound morbid, but I am struggling to understand why we, as a nation are making a huge mountain out of a molehill. Not only that, but when anyone tries to speak up and say “Hey, chill out, seriously relax.” Those voices of reason are censored or made out to be uncaring demons who are then suspended or asked to apologize (how she phrased it was in poor taste but what she meant is true.)

I am sorry that the families of the men that died have to go through this. I am also sorry for the police officers who were doing their job to the best of their abilities. They will be remembered as killers and as men who killed a black man. My question though, is this: If a big white dude was subdued by black officers and he died because of his unhealthy weight would the media go as crazy? Would there be protests and shirts with his last words? No, there wouldn’t, because it would just be an unhealthy white dude died. Please tell me I’m wrong. I am quite certain there have been plenty of big white dudes who have died from that type of hold. Yes, the idea of race is much deeper than that scenario; but instead of drawing lines in the sand and demanding people who are reasonable to shut up- why don’t we reflect on what we can change. Why don’t we reflect on how we can help our fellow people. What happened to Ferguson and Garner were tragedies. I am aware of that but death happens in horrible ways.

Now, you may say that I have no right comment on this- to give my two cents. I’m a white girl afterall. I’ve never had to deal with injustices or hate crimes or anything. I have lived a comfy life. Well, what you assume is wrong. I have my scars and I often wish I was dead. I will not explain further because I do not want to make this post about me. What this post is about is the opportunity our society is presented with. We, as a united, diverse people, have two options: either we can be defined by our differences or we can choose to unite based on our similarities.

If we continue to fixate on the color of our skin then we are exchanging our freedom for fear and hated. What I mean is that we, as individuals, decide who and what we are. I am not defined but others’ opinions of me. When the darker skinned community cries out racism and hate and justice they hand over their identities for others to decide. When we claim to be victims we say we can’t take care of ourselves. I speak from personal experience. I speak from the fact that I was a victim and I struggle with that every single day but I don’t let it define me. So, America, we have a choice- will we continue to live in fear and focus on our differences or will we stop playing the victim?

I think the phrase: “Where there is a will, there is a way” is apt for this scenario. Today’s media focuses on the victim and how difficult their lives are; but that just promotes the idea that once a victim, always a victim. When we live in a society of victims we give away our ability to be brave, courageous and strong.

If you agree with what I’ve written please pass this along. Let’s stop blaming everyone else and let’s starting blaming ourselves. Together, let’s make the choice to be more than victims.

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