Social Media has gotten a bit ridiculous. Facebook is plastered with shares and reshares and useless bits of information and articles written by everyone and their mother (literally). People who know how to work the system are creating trends and the like. Where does that leave someone like me? I am a hard worker and I believe that doing a job well done is the best way to sell oneself.
I’ve been going through a rough patch. I have hit more rock bottoms than I thought possible. I have had to address the darkness within and I’ve had to make some changes. I still have more changes to make but I am starting to develop a new path for my life. I have struggled with depression and feelings of worthlessness for all of my life. I have hidden those feelings deep within and I have ignored my feelings. I have tried to avoid being vulnerable.
Of late I have been showered with reminders that I can’t give up. Last night I got Chinese food and my fortune was “Do not give up, the beginning is always the hardest.” My roommates got silly fortunes that made no sense. So do I think the fortune was random? Maybe, but I like that even my fortune cookie told me not to give up.
So, I’m not giving up. I’m not rolling over and to let the world kick me. I am standing by my proclamation that I am striving to be who I was meant to be. It’s just not as easy as I thought it would be. This hard work will pay off. I will have my house and land and many more things. I will make a positive impact on the lives of others.
Most importantly, I’m not going to stop writing. These past few weeks have been hectic. I’ve scrabbled and scrambled and scraped my life off of the pavement. I’m not even close to getting to where I want to be but I’m making steps. I went to church yesterday morning. http://www.walnuthillcc.org/ It is an amazing church.
I need stability. I am going to make sure I have it and that my children have stability as well. The future is going to be bright. I will do what ever it takes to make sure my children’s future is the best possible future for them. Life is about more than just you. It is about the people you love and care about. I need to get well so that I can be the person my family needs me to be.