I went to public school for most of my education. I am thankful I did but it did lack a few things when it came to developing creativity within me. I am a creative person and I love to write. My other passion is horses. I dream of being a trainer and riding instructor. However, there are other parts of my dream as well. I dream of creating a place where people go when they need to rest and need help. I dream of building an empire based on helping people find better lives.
I believe in helping people and in giving my time and energy to them. What do these dreams have to do with writing? At first glance nothing, but when I reflect a bit more on what drives these dreams I realize that I want to help people find their fairy tale ending. Although, that term is a bit misleading.
As I stated before, I am a creative person and the idea of sitting at a desk all day is something I cannot fathom. I am an oddity but not in a bad way. I know there are other people who believe as I do. The thing is that sitting at a desk is where you are guaranteed to make money and to have a pay check. My office has always been in a barn and my projects have been training horses and setting goals. However burn-out in the horse industry is common and I have experienced burn-out several times.
I write because it eases my thoughts but at the same time I do not know how to write for money. There are “courses” and there are seminars to help guide you through that process but the catch 22 is that you need to have money to make money. The courses I’m talking about aren’t free and that means that as a budding writer I have to fork over funds I do not have.
Now, if I go another route and sign up for freelancing writing jobs I might find something but most of the jobs I’ve found are looking for people who aren’t me.
Maybe my skewed self-image is getting in the way of my writing abilities; if that is the case then I need to find a way to get mentored. I write all of this not as a negative fest about the fact that I haven’t found my niche yet; I write because I want to let people know that being a professional writer is like a maze with no beginning or end.
Agents are looking for stories but not what you write etc. I guess I am confused as to what exactly I am supposed to do. I find myself scratching my head and spinning in circles trying to figure out which is a real path and what is just a mirrored reflection. Where I used to live the bathroom had two full length mirrors at right angles to each other. The effect when you looked at them at a certain spot was that there were four identical rooms. Which would lead to me wondering if I was in the real room or was I in just a reflection?
Writing is a bit like that. I stand facing a methaphorical wondering if I am actually a writer or maybe I am just a pretender. If I am a pretender how do I get out of the “writing mirror”? I thought that I had the training I needed to write professionally but I realize I do not. I never wrote for school newspapers nor did I submit to my school’s literary publications. I always believed that I wasn’t good enough; that I would be rejected. I never understood why what I wrote wasn’t considered “good”.
I guess I am one of those people who thinks she can write well but in reality she is a farce. I want to take writing seriously but a part of me is still convinced that writing for profit is a fool’s errand. The jokes of being a starving artist are all too real to me and I am hesitant to continue that mantra. My friends ask me what would make me the happiest?
What would make me the happiest would be to see my books in print and to go to book signings
and the like; yes, that is a very broad dream but I must say that I dream it all the same.
If you are like me and dream of being a professional writer then I suggest you research and read about a wide range of topics. I thought getting paid to write would be simple; I mean it’s writing for goodness sakes, what is so difficult about that? I guess I should have realized I was oversimplifying things.
As you write remember to also reflect on why you write and what you have to offer those who read what you write.
What do you think? Have you found success? If so, how? and what methods do you use to write?